In yesterday’s post I talked about the difference between living from the engaging, but ultimately, false nature of the “narrative” self. This is our habitual identity with a story about ME. We are always the hero and victim of our perpetual story. The key to living a truly fulfilled life, one that is not monotonous, that is alive to the moment, is to “locate” this narrative self. This can be tricky, but there are methods.
You might want to try this, but first a little introduction.
Listening to therapists, reading books, and watching the talks of “gurus” can be a start, but we soon need to discover that we can ONLY use our own life to be our one and only teacher. This can be a very harsh truth. It means that we can depend on no one but ourselves and our moment to moment life to grow in understanding and depth. Take the plunge and be your own healer. This will be only authentic healer you will EVER find.
Here is a pathway to the healing. Try it and see if it works for you.
The fear-based self, the narrative self, has a primary quality. I can only speak from my own life, so please allow me to speak of my own fear-self. Mine is a judge with strong intellectual qualities. He can be harsh. He is superior to most other people and prides himself in finding flaws and inconsistencies in the words and behaviors of others. He can be a real asshole – take my word for it! He has also made my life very difficult on occasion and I have really suffered on account of this fear-based self. He is always there to “show” me how much more insightful I am than, pretty much, anyone else. He is a very close friend.
After many years of observing this self, feeling helpless to make any changes, it occurred to me one day that this self had a distinctly physical quality. This harsh judging self was like a shell – or a hardened force field around my heart or just in front of my actual physical being – or, perhaps, my energetic being.
Once I could physically FEEL this being just in front of where I seemed to be, my trance attachment with it was severed! The loving core of my authentic core suddenly rose in the moment of separation. I even loved this harsh exterior – I felt his struggle and pain, but the light of my primal being shined so much brighter. I cannot tell you just how liberating this experience has been for me.
Find the physical fear-based self in your own life. Feel it! You will find it.
Try it yourself and, if possible, share your experiences.