What does seeking tell us?
Pause for a moment and ask yourself that question as deeply as you can.
… I’ll wait …
Everything has two sides, but we tend to focus on one or the other. So, what is the other side of seeking?
Is it not dissatisfaction with who we are. Let’s focus on that side right now. Look into the mirror and say, “I don’t like you.” “I am motivated to reject you and be someone different.”
How does that feel?
Does it feel liberating? Does it feel right? Does it feel soulful? Does it feel balanced?
When we are seeking, we are affirming and sustaining the rejection of ourselves.
Does that knowledge change your view of seeking?
Wouldn’t you want to end this ceaseless seeking for happiness, security, and clarity? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
Now let’s change direction for a moment.
When did our self-rejection begin? How did our negation start? Are we the source of our own rejection?
I would bet that that question is a lot more difficult for you to answer than those posed in the first section of this post.
Why is it more difficult?
The answer to this question lies in the fact that the roots of our rejection are deep and just like a plant, the roots are generally not visible.
It’s a long discussion, but the roots of our self-negation go back to our earliest days in this life (for many more details, see the Liberation book). So when we reject ourselves through the self-veiling process of seeking, we are affirming our agreement with our original rejectors. We are re-creating the circumstances of our own very personal psychological pain and suffering. This is why the energy that sustains seeking is not comfortable. It is often sad and even desperate.
Because it is not comfortable we do what we have always done.
Now please listen VERY carefully to what comes next.
What we have done in this life is to soothe the pain of our own primal negation. So we are drawn to ideas, beliefs, and authority that bring solace to this wound. Instead of inquiring into who we truly are, we have done what we know how to do, we apply the band-aid of authority onto our pain. The authority may come from a teacher, a parent, a therapist, or a guru. It hardly matters, because what we are continuing to do is to negate ourselves and give our power away to others.
This is what waking up is all about. Until we find out who we really are, we will just spin unhappily on the wheel of seeking and self-negation.
Sorry for the downer message. But, after all, it’s only Monday. The brightness will come later in the week. I promise.