Suffering is a Choice


Did you know that suffering is a choice? We choose to suffer and then we sustain the suffering by endlessly searching for a way out of suffering, all the while identifying with the very source of suffering; the illusory “me”.

The self we believe ourselves to be is (as the sentence shows) a belief.

If we look out the window, it’s obvious that the earth is not a sphere. Go ahead try this simplest of experiments – based exclusively on what you see, is it not obvious that the earth is not a sphere?

It’s also obvious that the sun revolves around the earth. We can check this out as well and see that it’s true – the sun does revolve around the earth.

Only it doesn’t and the earth is a sphere.

Often what our mind and senses tell us about the world is just not true. Unless we are awakened from the illusion of the mind and the senses, we will continue to maintain that the earth is not a sphere and that the sun revolves around the earth.

The same principle applies to the belief in the “I/me”. The mind is certain that we know that we are this me, but is that true?

It isn’t.

So who is the false me – because if we can identify what is false, the true will arise all on its own. Our goal is to see the false and not to heal the unreal.

The me that I am not is not something that we are born with – it is, like all beliefs, something we learn. We learn to be this me.

What is it we learn?

We are born as a spontaneous expression of life. But then something happens. When we are forcibly separated from our parents, when we receive the message a million times over that what we are doing is not right, when we are required to be obedient to external authority, when all of that happens the “me” is born.

The me we learn to be is the deficient me.

Unlike the baby that is a spontaneous expression of life possessing nothing – just expressing Life – the Deficient Me (DefMe) does possess something – it possesses attributes that are not right. This is the Wound. Those people that made our life possible, also wound us and the result is the Deficient Me.

The DefMe is the source of all our suffering and among its key qualities is that of possession. Instead of expressing Life naturally and spontaneously, we now possess qualities that makes us broken.

And what does this broken me seek – it seeks healing.

But here’s the “kicker” – because the broken me was never real in the first place, it can never be healed! This is the truth that we need to absorb and acknowledge.

This is the seemingly cruel irony of seeking. It can never cease until we become awake to the illusory nature of the false me.

Is there a way out? Is there a solution to our dilemma?

More importantly, how can I to stop the cycle of suffering?

There is a way out.

First, we must really see and acknowledge that healing is not a possibility. So we must stop everything “we do” to heal or improve this broken me. The effort we invest in fixing what isn’t real is a total waste of time – actually it’s worse than a waste of time because it sustains the belief in the illusory me. That’s step one.

Second, we must see that how this broken me arises in consciousness is not something we can stop as a consequence of our will. Our very expression of will is really an efforting of the broken me. Thus the manifestation of this false me, is like everything else in the universe – it happens all on its own. We must just allow everything to happen all on its own. What choice do we have? Can we wish it away? Can we force, what we have already noticed, away? Of course not!

Third, we come to realize that the idea of choice is, itself, an illusion. Everything happens. The me that believes it has choice in what happens is one of the many manifestations of the broken me.

Four, the persona that believes in the broken me is the broken me. They are two sides of the same coin. We must stop believing that this me is who we are. As we stop believing, we start seeing. The seeing was always present, but the belief was an add-on. Now we just see and sit back and enjoy the show – letting it all happen as it must.

Seeing is the natural/spontaneous expression of life as life. This seeing cannot suffer, although it can and will experience physical pain. The seeing can and will experience everything as seeing.

Words really do not do it any justice. Liberation – Awakening is the unburdening of the possession of the false self. This is what it’s all about.

Tomorrow: Suffering is OUR Choice – applying the principles of Liberation from the Lie on Groups. The me belief is deeply entangled in its group, cultural, and gender identities. These too are illusions.

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